The Good Life

We have a cat named Audrey who is the sweetest, most gentle furry soul you’ll ever meet. She is an indoor cat so it is very important we always make sure all the outside doors are closed.

I use the back door a lot when I’m grilling. The back door consists of a storm door and the door itself. The door is a split door so the top part is usually open. So when I come and go I make sure the storm door clicks when it closes so I know it’s latched shut, then I make sure the bottom part of the door is closed and latched.

So if I’m Audrey and I really want to get some fresh air, I could jump onto the bottom half of the inside door and carefully balance myself as I try and push the storm door open with the power of a linebacker. I’m not really comfortable with heights and the thought of standing on a skinny door 3 feet up makes me a little nervous. Of course I am a cat and I do have nine lives so if I fall off the door to my demise I still have 8 left. I’d have to push the storm door open and jump through just before it closes and clicks shut. Just how long the enjoyment of the fresh air lasts depends on how long it takes you to realize you can’t get back into the house and chances are you didn’t bring your cell phone so you wouldn’t be able to call for help.

Or, I could get a hole saw and cut a hole in each door this way I can come and go as I please. I’d put the hole right off the ground so I don’t need to be worried about heights. I don’t think cutting through the doors would be too noisy. One of the doors is metal and one is wood so I’d have to check to see if we have the correct blades and if we don’t I’d have to ask to borrow the car to go to Home Depot. I’d walk there but in order to walk there I’d have to get out of the house through a hole that I haven’t cut yet with blades I don’t have yet from the place I can’t walk to.

So this is the thought process Audrey would go through if she was considering taking a stroll outside. She’s pretty chilled so my guess is that she’d probably say to herself, “I’m not doing that” and go lie down to enjoy the good indoor life.

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