Nice Car

Movies pretty much just wash over me. I absorb more from some than others, but for the most part I’m not usually 100% invested. If I see 5 cowboys trotting along, I’ll notice how cool the mountains look, the colors in the sky, the breathtaking western landscape. I’ll start wondering when they last took a bath, how hot they must be in all that stuff, how badly they must smell and before you know it I’m lost.

If I’m watching a fairly complicated movie and for the record, my bar is set pretty low for what I consider “complicated”, I sometimes have a problem following what’s going on. The pieces of the puzzle start getting hazy and further apart and with every passing scene I feel it slipping away more and more. “Ok, I have no fucking idea what’s happening but I’m lying here with my girl.” Of course, if detailed questions are asked of me like “Isn’t Kevin the brother-law of that guy Melvin who runs the auto body shop that’s laundering money for Kevin’s first cousin, Alfred, who is married to the girl from the bakery shop who bakes awesome orange/cranberry scones and has a cute little rose tattoo just under her right ear?”, my answer may be yes? Honestly, I was too busy admiring the cars in Melvin’s auto body shop to absorb anything beyond that.

With a low-budget horror movie I usually don’t have any problems following the plot because there isn’t any. People go into a building, people don’t come out of the building with a whole lot of messed up stuff happening in between. It’s weird that I sometimes feel energized after watching a movie like that. Not that I’m going to toss anyone into a wood chipper any time soon, more like maybe I’ll plant a couple of flowers in the yard. Alfred Hitchcock wouldn’t let you see the violence or feel that Holy Shit moment, but he sure made you think about it. Sometimes you want to think about it and other times you want to take it head on.

You’ve got to admire a good Mafia move. It goes way beyond loyalty to the family. The creative means with which they perform their unlawful obligations for the family is astounding. It’s all in the details and they are dedicated to their craft, but slip up once and are your initials change to MIA. There are no Terminated with Cause or Unemployment benefits conversations going on here. The conversation is pretty much over.

Super-Hero movies are relatively new to my world. I just never thought to watch them. But now I do and “Iron Man” is a favorite. While I do admire the intense personality of the cocky billionaire, the philanthropist, and the genius, I also admire the suit and I wonder how much it would cost to build one today. We saw him make the first one in the cave but how’s it made now? For some reason, I don’t see Mr. Stark banging away on steel plates with a sledge hammer anymore. Other people do that now. Is there a state of the art manufacturing facility four stories straight down under his house? How much time does he spend on Amazon looking for all the parts and material? And with all the stuff heading his way in trains, planes, automobiles and spacecraft, where’s the loading dock?

The point of all this iron related babble is we’ve seen him make the first suit in the cave, we’ve seen him meticulously design the suit and test it, we’ve seen very cool machines assemble the suit, but we haven’t seen all the individual parts of the suit being made. It’s either proprietary information or totally irrelevant in which case I’m probably the only lunatic that cares about it.

Westerns I like and while I am easily distracted from the story as I mentioned earlier, the plot isn’t usually that complicated. There are good guys and bad guys. The bad guys want to take over town and the good guys stop them. There’s a saloon in town where both good and bad guys go and in this saloon in the corner over there is where the daily poker games are played. Someone always accuses somebody else of cheating, they fight and one of them may or may not die and since all these guys are perpetually covered in about 5 layers of dust, it all shakes loose as they fight and just about everyone in the place collapses from a lack of the oxygen.  

Fortunately, a couple of guys that did remain conscious decide to contact the paramedics. One of them writes a note expressing the dire need for oxygen and gives it to the other guy who hops onto his horse off to the Paramedic Post on the other side of the mountain in the distance. He goes back into the saloon to re-assure everyone that help is on the way and should arrive well within a week so there’s no need to panic. No one panics, everyone’s dead by 2:00 and the movie is over because they killed off everyone. Nobody’s left and all the horses parked out front are left to wonder where they can go to get groomed.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s