While grilling some chicken tonight I had the pleasure of the distant company of a raccoon that appeared from out of the woods. I wouldn’t say I panic when I see a raccoon, but I do think about how they might attack. Maybe one of them stares right at you and smiles and while you’re thinking you have this profound connection with one of God’s creatures, the other one that’s hiding off to the left pounces on you, ties you up and makes you watch them both eat your chicken and drink your bourbon. I’ve always considered raccoons pretty bold, but this is just cruel.
They finally finished their meal, and my bourbon, and took off to the end of the driveway and disappeared into the blackness of the woods. I finally untied myself and took a peek down the driveway to see if they were coming back. Maybe they’re hiding just out of sight, waiting for me to start cooking more chicken.
Oddly, they didn’t touch the small tray on the grill that contained a rather large burger doused with balsamic vinaigrette and bourbon on top of a bed of crispy corn kernels mixed with garlic, chili powder, jalapeno peppers and sliced sweet gherkins. I guess they don’t care for spicy food, but how can anyone resist a sweet gherkin?