The Christmas Tree

Shopping for a Christmas tree can be a fun experience. I’m no Clark Griswold but I admire his Christmas spirit and all things tradition, even if he forgot to bring the saw. I prefer to go to a store or nursery to get my trees. So off to Home Depot we went. I know it doesn’t sound very Hallmark, but it’s convenient.

The first store we went to had 5 pathetically small Charlie Brown trees. The second was a local nursery. They had zero. OK, now we’ve got a situation so I google more Home Depot’s and find one pretty close. We get there and they’ve got plenty of trees. Many of them weren’t tied up so you were able see the tree in all its glory or all its shame. We didn’t find anything but there were dozens of other trees wrapped up in that orange mesh. You can see the height, but you have no idea on the shape or how full it is, two very important features of a Christmas tree.

So we ask the guy that works there to cut off the mesh so we could see the tree and he told us he was not allowed. I didn’t think my request was unreasonable. It’s not like I’m asking him to grow the perfect tree for me and I’ll pick it up next week. All I want is to see the tree that’s standing right in front of me. Nope.

It’s like walking into Shoprite and all the canned goods have no label on them. Ok, I know the short skinny ones are probably tomato paste and the stubbing big ones are probably solid white tuna but there are about 57 other ones. I want a can of corn but I might get a can of Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs. Maybe I should ask someone for a can opener…

Anyway, we finally find our tree and we need to get a stand but they had no stands. You have plenty of trees but no stands to put them on. Whatever, so we go to pay for it and the card machine doesn’t work. I insert, swipe, insert and swipe about 10 times so we’re told we need to go inside the store to pay for it but none of the self-check-out stations will give you cash back which is what we needed to give the guy who didn’t want to take the mesh off a tip. So we get on line, get our cash, give the mesh guy his tip and off we go thinking maybe next year we go to the country with an axe.

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