I heard someone recently refer to English as a language that’s very easy to learn. Not sure I agree with that…I’m thinking about words and phrases that make no sense or mean entirely different things…
Having a shit fit – You’re either pretty pissed or spending an extended amount of time in the latrine.
Strike – You could be hitting a nail with a hammer or refusing to go to work.
Getting Stoned – It could be a very pleasant, mellow experience. If you’re in Pakistan, chances are it’s not so pleasant.
Bowl – You either eat out of it or spend time doing it
5 boxes of ziti – It could be a good home cooked meal or $5,000 in cash if you work for Tony Soprano
Pot – You either cook those ziti in it or a means to eat massive volumes of it.
Getting screwed – You’re gently getting fucked
Getting fucked – You’re royally getting screwed
Are you talking to me? – It could be a simple, polite question within a calm conversation or what you hear just before you hit the pavement.
Ok, fine – A simple agreement or a complicated argument.
What’s wrong? Nothing. There’s either nothing wrong or a whole lot of things wrong
Going bananas – You’re either really upset about something or maybe you’re thinking about only eating bananas.
Roger – It could be the name of someone you know or Yup – I got it.
Really? It could be excitement about something or disagreement about something.
I’ve got you covered – Someone’s either buying you a drink or someone’s got a weapon in their hands.
Lobotomy – A common medical procedure that is usually advisable prior to calling any internet company
Shits and Giggles – Either a stupid reason for doing something or you are in an exceptionally good mood in the bathroom.