Piece of Cake

I heard someone recently refer to English as a language that’s very easy to learn. Not sure I agree with that…I’m thinking about words and phrases that make no sense or mean entirely different things…

Having a shit fit – You’re either pretty pissed or spending an extended amount of time in the latrine.

Strike – You could be hitting a nail with a hammer or refusing to go to work.

Getting Stoned – It could be a very pleasant, mellow experience. If you’re in Pakistan, chances are it’s not so pleasant.

Bowl – You either eat out of it or spend time doing it

5 boxes of ziti – It could be a good home cooked meal or $5,000 in cash if you work for Tony Soprano

Pot – You either cook those ziti in it or a means to eat massive volumes of it.

Getting screwed – You’re gently getting fucked

Getting fucked – You’re royally getting screwed

Are you talking to me? – It could be a simple, polite question within a calm conversation or what you hear just before you hit the pavement.

Ok, fine – A simple agreement or a complicated argument.

What’s wrong? Nothing. There’s either nothing wrong or a whole lot of things wrong

Going bananas – You’re either really upset about something or maybe you’re thinking about only eating bananas.

Roger – It could be the name of someone you know or Yup – I got it.

Really? It could be excitement about something or disagreement about something.

I’ve got you covered – Someone’s either buying you a drink or someone’s got a weapon in their hands.

Lobotomy – A common medical procedure that is usually advisable prior to calling any internet company

Shits and Giggles – Either a stupid reason for doing something or you are in an exceptionally good mood in the bathroom.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s