Property Managers

There are lots of hard working people out there. They go to work every day and try and be the best they can be. Then there are those that can’t help but do sub-par work. These folks are not underachievers. Underachiever kind of implies that someone wants to do good, but just can’t get there. These people are way beyond that to the extent that lowering the bar is a life goal.

We rented an old home and had to deal with a property manager that lacked all skills with total confidence and is probably pursuing a doctorate degree in Lowering the Bar. She’s extremely talented at being unskilled at everything and when she needs help she will contacted highly unskilled and unqualified contractors. They do stick together and to make the whole experience even more enjoyable, her voice is as pleasant as a thousand finger nails screeching across a chalkboard and has a personality of a pit bull that is too old and grumpy to do any real harm, but just likes to piss you off.

It was not unusual to hear things like ”I’m no plumber but I’ll give it try” or “It was working the other day, what did you do?” or “I can’t do it, my back hurts”. It’s like the Super Bowl of incompetency where their motto is “You Can’t Make This Shit Up”. It was getting disturbingly predictable with the only variable being just how badly she’d fuck up. Her best work by far was a few years ago when we went out for the afternoon and came back to water dripping out of the ceiling and radiators that were spewing more water than a fire hydrant. Not surprisingly, she was well trained on the improper maintenance of a heating system.

We had an electrical issue and the guys she went were the same highly unqualified workers that were sent to do some plumbing work a few months before. They got to the house and told us “We can’t do this. We don’t know what to do”. Ok great. Thanks so much for totally meeting expectations and have a wonderfully unproductive day. It gets to the point where you question everything that used to be obvious and wonder just what are they good at? Maybe some of these people haven’t found their calling yet and are destined to be teachers, artists, engineers…. That’s all great but in the meantime just fix the fucking faucet. Please.

But lowering the bar doesn’t end with contractors and property managers…

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