A Hit and a Drink…

I usually think about this stuff when I am grilling and I grill a lot. And when I’m grilling I usually have a drink (sometimes a couple) and I usually have a hit (sometimes a few). Why else do we grill? Oh yeah, there is the food…

Maybe we can have a bantering contest?! The winner would get nothing which is totally appropriate since what we talk about here is pretty much nothing.

So here is some food for thought and feel free to comment.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. What kind of bird and what about the bush? Is it a perennial, an annual? Does it flower? Which hand, left or right. Too many unanswered questions to use this phrase.

I carry a marble in my pocket at all times and I am fully prepared if anyone ever asks me if I’ve lost my marbles. I can say with conviction, NO.

I stop into the local post office to mail a large envelope but forgot to tape it so I ask if they can tape it for me. “You need to buy a roll of tape.” But I only need a very small piece. “You need to buy a roll of tape.” But I don’t want to buy a roll. I only need a small piece. “You need to buy a roll of tape.” The woman started to freak me out so I went home to get some tape.

We’ve all had that guy behind us at a traffic light that hits the horn one second after the light turns green and I always wondered what he’s like at home… Pass the salt please. The salt!!! Where’s the salt???!!! This is the person that responds to your text before you even send it and returns your call before you call him. These people scare me…

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Really? It depends on wind speed.

Your call is very important to us. No it isn’t. Stop lying to us.

A watched pot never boils. It does. I tried it.

I don’t get golf. Maybe because there is no direct human interaction. It’s like they’re competing with one another in parallel universes. I do get baseball. It’s like watching grass grow in the most amazing way.

A Penny for Your Thoughts. I don’t think it should be a flat rate. If I’m thinking about buying a pair of jeans, it’s worth a lot less than deciding to get married. If I’m divorced and thinking about alimony, we’re talking 6 figures here.

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