Alimony $

Alimony is the reward for getting divorced. It’s a word I had heard of… I knew of it but never gave it much more thought than that. People get divorced and someone pays someone else something. Pretty simple right? I suppose there are those out there that would answer that question with a yes. Good for the four of you! Then there are all the others out there that would answer that with a hearty NO, preceded by a number of adjectives specifically created to make a point.

Alimony is legalized extortion. The whole process is a battle between the haves and the have nots and the fun of this game is to try and identify yourself as the have not. It’s a complicated process with all those numbers flying around and when you get to a point when things are not exactly going as planned, your lawyer says with all the sincerity in the world, I know…It sucks…REALLY?! I’ve heard “It Sucks” many times in my life but this is the first time I’m paying to hear it. I guess I should be happy I lasted this long without paying. I can’t imagine how much money I’ve saved. So you see this battle going nowhere and find yourself wondering why you haven’t heard back from Starfleet Command about Captain Kirk coming in to mediate.  His intergalactic negotiating skills would help with an ex who seems like she’s from a galaxy far, far away.

Captain Kirk couldn’t make it, claiming he had to deal with a planetary dispute with the Klingons that threatened the lives of millions of innocent people. He could have just said no instead of making up such a ridiculous story…Whatever, so I fire my lawyer, decide to represent myself and it wasn’t long before I was totally impressed with how much a real lawyer can say without actually saying anything…

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